Yes, my obsession with ranking everything has culminated towards this idea. I've had it for a little while, but I think now's the time to share this idea around, see how it sits. Ideally I update this forever. So the idea of this is to rank every single pizza place I ever go to. Let me preface this real quick: I am sadly a picky eater. I absolutely hate being a picky eater, but I absolutely hate disliking the taste of nearly every food I come across. I know sometimes I eat like shit, but I'll make an effort to eat you know, NORMAL food like basic chicken and steak and vegetables and shit, they just taste... bad! And I have to force myself through it, but whatever, that's just how life is. I hate food, but I have to eat it.
The rare exception to that is pizza. Pizza is absoultely amazing and I have it like twice a week. Saying that is kinda... shameful. But whatever. This is just how my life is. By the time I'm in college I'll probably have that down to once a week and it'll just be Little Caesar's, the only reason it's twice right now is cause my dad requires Rosati's every Friday (which of course I'm grateful for, I don't care if that's too much pizza, you're the problem, not me). This list will rank everything from chains to local locations to even gas station pizza if I feel like it. I've pretty much never encountered a GOD AWFUL pizza (let's hope it stays that way), but you never know.
So let's just jump into it!
PIZZA RANKING:
Let's start this off with something near and dear to my heart. Little Caesars. One of their
locations has been pretty damn close to my house ever since I've been born. You can bet your ass I've had this many a
night, many a sleepover, many a mediocre school event with this place. Little Caesars is really really good pizza. I
don't care if you think saying this is a sin or what, but Little Caesars is really good. (Let me just say, I'll be
ranking everything here based off of a standard pepperoni pizza which is what I get everywhere, I never divert from
that). I have an immense amount of history with this place, so much so that it has embodied itself in my music
quite a few times. I have a huge love for Little Caesars and it is one of the core elements of my life that keeps
it going, no matter how sad it is. I reserve it for that one night a week when I'm insanely stressed out and hate
everything or when I have to stay to school until 8PM (of course that happens weekly) and its taste is just so
damn good. Its sauce tastes rather unique. It's something I haven't ever really seen done anywhere else. Their
menu is also strangely minimalist, like there aren't that many options (I know they've periodically added more,
what with their ridiculous M&M Brownies and stuff) but it works so well. They have absolutely perfected their
goal. Please don't look into their sanitation. Rosati's is the other one I'll rank without having direct access to it right now. It's another
pizza place that I've had for my entire life due to its proximity to me. My dad grew up in Chicago and thus has
always desired Chicago-Style pizza and this is about the closest thing he can get. Let me tell you, this stuff is
quality. When it's good, it is some of the best pizza you'll ever have. But it's not perfect. It can be pretty hit
or miss sometimes. You just have to get it on a good day. And it's a bit expensive. $20 for a 14 inch. Not THAT bad
but still, Little Caesars is cheaper. But you know, sometimes you don't want that. The key to having a perfect Rosati's
experience is just making sure it's just ever so slightly overcooked. Cause sometimes on busy days, they'll
undercook it. And I mean, it'll still taste good, but you want more than that. You expect more than that. Come on
Rosati's, get your shit together. I used to love this place a lot. First went to it after a record store day with my dad, it was
good shit. The thing about it though is you have to actively be there when they put the ingredients on if you want
it to turn out right. What has sort of turned to the default since covid is ordering the pizza online then picking
it up in store. That shouldn't be worse than how I used to do it because at other pizza places, that has been the
norm for so long. And it's so convenient. But whenever I do this, it's never as good as it could be. Well, every
once in a while it is. But they don't put on enough pepperoni or cheese, they don't cook it for long enough so it
basically just tastes like I'm eating a plate of sauce. Its gotten worse every time too, I swear. Maybe my tastes
are changing, but this place just falls further into the periphery with every mediocre pizza I have. Sadly, I'll
have to rank this one lower. Honestly, the only reason it's not in the bad tier is because SOMETIMES they get it
right and it's perfect. But most of the time, it's not even worth it. Unless you're gonna be there in person to tell
them "no, can you actually put more pepperoni on? No, can you cook it for a LITTLE longer?" (NOTE THAT THIS IS THE AIRPORT VERSION OF THE RESTAURANT). Very good flatbread. Reminds me a
bit of how MOD used to be, or MOD just on a good day. It's a little bit overcooked, but of course, that's what I
like. Tasted very good I appreciate, just quite expensive for not that much pizza (but of course, it's in an airport
so I guess that's just expected). Catalina
Eddie's (Disneyworld) Disney World pizza. Pretty bad to be honest. Crust was great, but there wasn't that much
cheese or pepperoni to cover large areas of sauce and it felt like it was sopping through the bottom of the bread.
Extremely mid pizza. Not that great, but I don't know if that's unique to this place. From what I heard, all Disney
World pizza is the exact same, but I wouldn't know, this is the one time I had it, and I might just keep it that way
(even though I have two days left here). Universal Studios pizza. This one was actually pretty damn good! I'm writing this like
2 months after having it though (I haven't updated this site in a long ass time haha). But yeah, it was great
for being theme park pizza. Actually recommend, don't get pizza anywhere else in Orlando theme parks. The
burgers here were also terrible. Not THAT bad, but definitely not that good either. Very very mediocre pizza. Would not
recommend. Didn't go out of my way to eat this, had it at a percussion function for free, so it was decent for
that, but I would've much rather had Little Caesar's, ya feel me? Crust is pretty good though, the rest just
kinda sucks. Would not like to have this, but I'll eat it if it's around. It's linking to the UK website
because apparently I can only access that one here (in England right now on vacation. Everyone's taking a
break so I thought I'd take a minute to update this site before my lateness gets out of hand). It's alright, but everyone knows the wait times are absolutely atrocious. Better than I
remember it being though, although I wouldn't really recommend it. Just get Little Caesars. It's great if it's the
only thing around though (which in a lot of rural places, it's probably the best one). Sometimes it sucks though. Had
this at my friend's house a little while ago. Yeah, I feel like counting this as a different pizza altogether, because it really is.
Airport branches of pizza are much different from their real counterparts. And often worse. This is worse. Not
bad, just mediocre, I'd probably get it again considering it's often the only edible thing in the airport
around where I'm at. Hey, we're finally at the pizza I've had in the UK now! Yeah, this pizza was amazing, near our
hotel we were staying at in London. Very very touristy part of London, but this place was great. Italian themed
place. Pizza had a lot of sauce which usually I hate, but somehow it worked this time. Felt kinda like Grimaldi's,
but not mid. Yeah, this pizza was great dude. Pretty sure this is a UK Only place, but not fully sure. Anyhow, this is very high up there in
the tier of best pizzas I've ever had. Had a lot of the same positives of Azzurro, but done just a little better.
Pizza was a bit floppy though and maybe a bit too much sauce (which is just why it doesn't go to the top tier).
Definitely the best garlic bread I've ever had, that shit looked insanely good.
Absolute Perfection
Great
Rosati's Chicago Pizza
Pizza Express
Little Caesars
Azzurro
Campisi's (Airport)
Good
Cafe 4 (Universal Studios)
Pizza Hut
Mediocre
Mod Pizza
Pizza Hut Express (Airport)
Domino's
Catalina Eddie's (Disney World)
Bad
A Curse on the name of "Pizza"
